Why Your 'Fine' Life Feels Suffocating

As the first few weeks of January unfold, it often brings a distinct shock to the system.

Maybe the festive season was a nice break, or maybe it was just busy enough to keep you distracted. But now, "regular programming" has resumed. The endless loads of washing, the meal prep, the commute, the bills.

Tucked away, hidden in that busy schedule, is often a life-changing decision you’ve been sitting on. When the noise of the holidays fades, the "nudge" usually gets louder.

Many of us handle this transition by slipping into what we call "functional freeze." On the outside, you look like you’re coping. You’re ticking the boxes, you’re making the lunches, you’re "on." But on the inside, you’ve gone slightly numb. You’re bracing. You’re showing up, but your mind is elsewhere. It’s incredibly easy to sweep your truth under the rug when you’re in functional freeze because, to the rest of the world, life looks “fine.”

You might tell yourself to suck it up and get on with it—after all, your "stable" life is what provided the holidays or the annual leave. It can feel ungrateful, or even dangerous, to question the very things that keep you stable.

The truth is, our brains are wired to love stability. We want to know what’s coming; we want to predict the future.

The problem is that we often mistake the 'familiar' for the 'safe,' even when the familiar is slowly draining our spirit.

You stay in the loop because at least you know what to expect there.

You might call it 'playing it safe' or 'avoiding regret.' But underneath that, there’s a deeper Anchor Fear. I call this the Stability Anchor. This anchor is a heavy sense of guilt. It tells you that you’re being ungrateful for questioning a life that looks 'fine' on paper. It’s the "Golden Handcuffs" of the soul. It whispers, “I should just be grateful,” and it makes you feel like questioning the “okay” life you have will cause everything to fall down.

The beautiful truth is that stability is not exclusively held in your current circumstances. Following the nudge of change doesn’t mean you have to lose everything you’ve built.

You can find a way to honor your stability without letting it suffocate your soul.

Making a soul-led decision doesn’t require you to jump off a cliff. It’s a process of building a bridge from where you are to where you are meant to be.

If you’re tired of sweeping your truth under the rug of 'stability,' you don't have to uncover the path alone. This year, I am introducing Six-Week Blocks: a sacred container of three sessions designed to focus entirely on the singular decision you’re wrestling with.

This isn’t about “fixing” your whole life. It’s about:

• Identifying the specific Anchor Fears holding you down.

• Uncovering your true desire beneath the "shoulds."

• Building the self-trust to cross the threshold into what’s next.

I am currently inviting new clients to begin their six-week block. If you feel that nudge, I’m here to hold the space for you.

[Ready to consider another option for your life? Explore Soul-Led Therapy here]