Why it's so hard to leave "good enough"
It is a strange kind of grief to realise that a life you worked very hard to build — a life that looks 'fine' on paper — is actually suffocating you.
Naturally, when a life-altering decision lands in your lap, it rarely feels "exciting" at first. Usually, it feels uncomfortable. It brings up that nagging question: “Who am I to want more?”
I see this with my clients often. The moment you start to desire a different path, the shame gremlins pop up to remind you that you should be grateful.
"You’ve got a good life."
"Some people would kill for what you have."
"You worked so hard to get here."
So, you tell yourself the idea is just a flash in the pan. You tell yourself that with a bit of time, you’ll get over it.
Except, deep down, you know you won’t.
It is notoriously difficult to leave a “good enough” life. When a situation isn't "bad" — it just isn’t it — there is no immediate fire forcing you to move.
So you stay. You do your gratitude practice. You tell yourself it’ll get better. You decide that the “devil you know” is safer than the unknown. I see people on this merry-go-round for years, having the same conversation over and over while their logical brain anchors them in place.
I remember when I first started questioning my sexuality. At the time, I thought I was bisexual and I told myself: “Maybe this is just something I’ve discovered about myself, and I get to know it, but I stay married to my husband.”
Maybe you’ve had a similar thought about a career change, a move to another country, or a relationship. You chalk it up to something for “another life” and set it aside.
But dissatisfaction doesn’t dissolve just because we ignore it.
During my first therapy session, I had a massive realisation. Regardless of my sexuality, I wasn’t happy in my marriage. The light came on and I realised:
Whatever is next, this isn’t it.
I truly honour anyone who has reached that point in a life that looks “fine” on paper. It takes immense courage to admit that your version of “good enough” is actually suffocating you.
Once that light turns on, there is no going back — but that doesn't mean you have to jump off a cliff.
A Different Way to Change
There are plenty of coaches who will tell you to “just f*cking do it.” That isn't my approach. Soul-Led Therapy is about keeping your nervous system feeling as safe as possible as you take one step at a time.
My goal is to help you get off the merry-go-round by recognising that:
You can choose differently.
You can want more without shame or guilt.
You can honour your human ‘freak out’ brain while following your intuition.
If the light has turned on for you, and you’re tired of the merry-go-round, let’s look at how we can navigate that change together.
[Is it time to make your soul-led decision? Explore Soul-Led Therapy here]
