The Messy Middle: Part 3 - The wobble

Now we're getting into the meaty part of the process of creating significant change, of evolving your identity, of "the messy middle".

You've made the decision to change. You've been working, waiting, trusting, growing. And you're in the awkward transition where you're no longer who you used to be (you've been putting in the work), but you're not quite there yet.

And, naturally, after putting in the work with little "reward", we stumble. We backslide into our old ways. We sink deep into self-doubt.

We wobble.

This is when you're questioning everything. You don't want to go back - but this isn't unfolding as you had hoped or imagined for yourself. Did you even make the right decision in the first place?

"Wobble" is a term I use often in my vocabulary (and many of my clients and friends have adopted it too!), but in case you're wondering what this actually looks like, let's break it down.

It's that moment when everything starts to feel... shaky. When everything that felt aligned, like you were "in the groove", slips out of place. The stumble that takes you out of the zone and into a space of second-guessing. The doubt creeps in. The "what ifs" get louder.

Did you make the right call? Is this even going to work? Are you wasting time? Should you try something else? Should you just throw in the towel and go back? You don't want to go back but... this isn't working. Hmph.

The Wobble is the part where your old self starts pulling at your sleeve, trying to convince you to play it safe. Or the gremlins creep in and start off the monkey mind. It derails your efforts - not because you're doing anything wrong, but because growth is uncomfortable and unfamiliar territory often feels risky. Even if it's right.

This is when your resolve is challenged. You might start overthinking every small decision. Or feel yourself struggling to follow through on the actions and behaviours you need to create this new identity. Comparison seeps in. Fatigue and despair partner up with temptation and lack of motivation. And there is the pull of self-sabotage. Seriously... why can't this be easier?!

Last week, I shared about my 6-week gym results (joining the gym is what sparked this series to begin with) and how I was disappointed with the lack of desired progress. Unfortunately, it was the thing that set off my own spiral. I fell out of step with my gym schedule (barely showing up at all). I stopped counting protein. I started buying chocolate (not that we're villainising chocolate!).

Maybe it’s not the gym for you. Maybe it’s finally setting boundaries with your mum, or launching a new business, or leaving a job that made you miserable. Maybe you've left a relationship and the loneliness has shown up - with a temptation to call your ex.

The wobble shows up anywhere we choose change over comfort - and it’s always uncomfortable before it becomes empowering.

I know I didn't make the wrong choice by joining the gym, but the wobble has been an invitation.

If 'the waiting game' teaches emotional resilience - sitting in uncertainty without giving up - then 'the wobble' is about deepening your relationship with self-trust, self-compassion, and a deeper connection with your intuition.

The wobble isn't failure. It's feedback.

It's an opportunity to notice the old patterns tugging at your sleeve and pause to reflect. Is this a time to buckle down and keep persisting (like keeping those boundaries strong), or is this calling you to pivot and recognise that your human needs a little something else right now (like making a coffee date with a friend instead of with your ex)?

For me, this new identity of a woman who moves her body with intention and strength needs a schedule that works with her life. And honestly? I'd done pretty well when I'd first joined. It's why I did so well for six weeks; it just needs a little tweaking. I'm also shifting what I'm using to measure progress because that's not working for me!

The wobble invites you to stay present with yourself through the discomfort, practice self-kindness even when you're tempted to beat yourself up, and to remember that a little slip doesn't mean you've gone backwards.

Do you still want this change? Is your current plan of action working? Or do you need to recalibrate in order to get your breakthrough?

Ultimately, the wobble builds your capacity to hold steady in the face of doubt… and to keep choosing your next becoming, even when it feels hard.

Missed the earlier posts in The Messy Middle?
Read Part 1: The Invisible Work
Read Part 2: The Waiting Game