Stories from a Sage

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Intolerance in the In-Between

December 16, 20234 min read

A liminal space is the uncertain in-between of where you are and where you're headed; the brink of something new but not quite there yet.

Have you ever noticed reacting more to things that you used to be able to put up with when you know that a big change is coming? Whether it’s a career shift, a relationship change, moving home, or a next chapter in your personal life, the uncertainty that comes with being in the in-between can bring restlessness and impatience. Let's explore why our tolerance levels decrease during transitions and how we can navigate this period with grace and self-compassion.

Recently, I have catching up with a dear friend who was sharing with me about one of her young children. This little poppet is about to make the big change from daycare to kindy (which is actually part of the "big school"). She met with her new teacher and got a feel for this next chapter and was instantly ready to be brave and make the transition. Except she's still got a few weeks left at daycare for the year. 

Now that she's experienced something else and seen what's next, her tolerance for what exists for her now has plummeted. She doesn't want to go back to daycare - not when she knows what is right around the corner. 

And I couldn't help but thinking - same. 

A few months ago, my partner and I got the 'Knowing' that our chapter in Melbourne was coming to a close and that the sunny beaches of Perth are where our next adventure lies. And the universe has now opened the flood gates and things are flowing to whisk us over there.

But the funny thing is, the things I used to tolerate have gotten that much harder. 

Intolerance in the in-between.

It's something that has definitely come up before; the frustration with city traffic when I was about to move to a sleepy town, the boredom that sunk in at dance class when I knew I was leaving, the dissatisfaction with tasks when I was about to change roles at work. 

Can you relate?

It feels like your soul is ready for more - you've called it in - but it takes a little bit of time for it to eventuate in the 3D. The mismatch of the person you're evolving into, and the circumstances you're presently existing in, cause friction. 

Understanding the In-Between:

The in-between, or the liminal space, is the transitional phase when we have left behind the familiar -mentally, physically, or spiritually - but have not yet arrived at the new. It’s a time of uncertainty, ambiguity, and sometimes discomfort. Our tolerance levels decrease during this period because our minds and hearts yearn for stability and certainty and all that awaits us; becoming heightened to the restlessness, anxiety, or frustration that we're not there yet!

Embracing the Discomfort:

When you become aware of these feelings, the choice becomes available to embrace it as a natural part of the transformative process - the liminal space. Feeling uneasy, frustrated, or impatient is a sign that you are growing and evolving into what's next for you. It shows that you are ready for something new and better. By reframing your perspective, you can view this transitional phase as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth and to practice your values (perhaps patience, respect, honesty, etc).

Practicing Self-Compassion:

In the midst of the liminal space, it’s crucial to practice self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that it’s okay to feel a bit unsettled. And it's also okay to really want what's right around the corner. Remind yourself that transitions are a natural part of life and that you are capable of navigating them with ease. The 3D physical world moves a little more slowly than we would like sometimes but there is still something to benefit you in the in-between.

Cultivating Mindfulness:

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool to help you navigate the in-between with grace. By staying present and fully engaged in the current moment, you can reduce anxiety about the future and find peace amidst the uncertainty. Practice mindfulness through meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply by paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and triggers without judgment. This will help bring a sense of calm and acceptance during the transition.

Seeking Support:

Remember, you don’t have to navigate the in-between alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or even a holistic counsellor who can provide guidance and support during this transformative period. Surround yourself with those who have been there and get it, and who can hold space for you to share your experience.

Yes, transitions can be challenging, but they also offer incredible opportunities for growth and self-discovery. While our tolerance levels may decrease during these periods, it’s important to remember that something better is just around the corner (and this time will be a mere blip in your life's timeline). By embracing the discomfort, practicing self-compassion, cultivating mindfulness, and seeking support, you can navigate the in-between with grace and be completely ready for what is next. Embrace the journey, knowing that the best is yet to come.

Ellee is a qualified holistic counsellor accredited with IICT. She has a Bachelor in Complementary Medicine and is passionate about all things spiritual wellness.

Ellee Picken

Ellee is a qualified holistic counsellor accredited with IICT. She has a Bachelor in Complementary Medicine and is passionate about all things spiritual wellness.

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